For the last 10 years of my life, I have had the pleasure of attending and running hundreds of self-help and self-growth courses from Taoist Tantra to Salsa Dance, from Bondage and Kink to Basket Weaving and Poetry. I even had the pleasure of co-managing a workshop venue in Thailand for a year and I have been lucky enough to study under some incredibly inspiring teachers in my time. I have taken this list of 5 key mistakes I see facilitators making regularly from my Women of Worth (Empowered Women Teach) facilitation coaching program.
I have been noticing a recent boom around me of people stepping up and beginning to run their own workshops, courses, and programs in self-growth and self-empowerment. People who, instead of repeating a system they have been previously trained in have developed their own path (based on their full spectrum of experiences) and are beginning to step up and teach that to their community and beyond. WOW. Incredible.
As someone who has 10 years experience of holding workshop spaces and has been trained in the art of group dynamics and space holding, I have also noticed a trend of seeing people after classes talking about their experiences with a sense of disappointment and regret. I must note that this is NOT about the quality or importance of the content, but it is almost ALWAYS about how the course and space was held.
If you have been to a class and come out of it feeling like this then one of these 5 points may have been what was wrong, and more importantly, if you are beginning to hold your own workshops and classes then here are 5 incredibly important points to consider.
1 – Put safety first
This sounds like a given, but you would be shocked at how often I hear the phrase “It just didn’t feel like a safe space”. Most shockingly for me is hearing it about sexuality and intimacy classes. Holding a safe space is integral to the flow and success of your class. If people don’t feel safe they can not relax and open up, they can not allow themselves the permission to grow and they will not come away from your class raving about how great it was.
Safety is not just about physical safety and the venue you use (though of course this is important), it is about creating emotional and mental safety for your participants, from obvious ways ( eg consent) to more subtle ways ( eg. How clear your directions to the venue are). All of these things add up to a holistic experience for your participants. I can not stress how integral this is, holding an unsafe space not only puts your reputation at risk but it also puts the emotional and mental stability of your students at risk.
2 – Own your space
There is nothing more annoying in a class than when a facilitator who has something incredible to share allows one of the participants to take over the space. Student participation is incredibly important, but it needs to be skilfully moderated. This is also intrinsically linked with point number 1, safety. When a participant takes over, the integrity and safety of your space is at risk. There are many ways a participant can take over, through trying to be the teacher, through trying to be the only student and also through demanding excessive emotional focus from the teacher or other participants. I have seen over 40 minutes of a one day class become focused on one student and a process which was not directly linked to the topic of the class leaving the 15 or so other people sitting, watching and waiting. This is a massive flashing light for bad reviews and negative experiences of your class. Develop techniques to deal with these situations with skill and remember that this is your space, and you are the only person who can own that for you.
3 – Create your atmosphere
Atmosphere is a massive contributor to experience in workshops. Yes, we can have “Aha!” moments at the train station with all kinds of sights, smells and sounds but when people pay for an experience they want it to be immersive. Every sense needs to be considered and met. Entering an empty space with no sound except leaking external noise has a totally different effect to entering a space with soft music playing, low lights and a homely smell. Our bodies respond to our senses and to our environment so think about where you want to take people and question does this space reflect that?
4 – Talk less, Do more
I have been to so many classes where the facilitator has a lot to share so they talk, a lot. This often leads to stagnation in the room, people sitting and listening and getting tired. The human concentration span is limited, break up the space with exercises and activities often. Remember that you can give information but many people need action to integrate that information.
5 – Stop trying so hard
The problem with trying is 
that it is not doing. When a facilitator is too concerned with appearing to be a teacher they stop actually teaching… by that, I mean people stop learning. Hold your space, speak with confidence but never pretend to be what you are not comfortable being. We have the ability to read body language better than we are consciously aware of, if you are trying to be a teacher, trying to have an air of authority or expertise people will pick it up the falsity in the slightest move of your eyes, your mouth, the way you touch your hair and how one of your shoulders hunches forward ever so slightly. What I am trying to say is, no one likes a liar. The more honest you can be about your experience the more people will be willing to listen to you, move with you and learn.
So next time you step up to your potential and decide to share your skills and knowledge via running a workshop, take a moment away from studying your content to look back over this list and ask yourself if you have all of these things covered. On the other hand, if you are a participant in a course and you notice that feeling in you of disappointment and regret, run over this list; what was missing? Then give feedback to the facilitator! There is nothing more valuable than feedback from participants to a facilitator.
I love the incredible movement of self-devised courses and education that I am seeing spring up around me, I love the fact that you don’t need to have a certain financially backed degree under your belt to know that your concepts, knowledge and experience has worth.
So let’s go and make an impact and change the world with our passions, and let’s do it with as much awareness of how we hold the space as we do with what we tell people.
Want to know more?
Fleassy Malay runs coaching and programs on Empowered Voice and Facilitation. If you are ready to step up and speak your truth with full authenticity, to teach the world what is in your heart and begin to shine fully whilst running your own courses then contact her now on [email protected]
About the author:
Fleassy Malay is an Authentic Voice coach and facilitator based in Melbourne, Australia. She has been running voice empowerment spaces such as Mother Tongue: Women Speak and Brother Tongue: Men Speak for 3 years and facilitating classes for 10 years.