“What do you do?”
The question that makes every freedom loving, gypsy spirited soul cringe in pain.
“What do you do?” … by the age of 21 my answer to this rather simple question had become something like this:
“Well I travel around a lot and I crochet hats and sell them. I also spin fire, perform, write poetry, make jewelry, design costumes, paint, draw, illustrate, dance, play didgerydoo, play guitar, sing… a little, I’ve worked in Pubs and stuff… I make clothes also, and fix-up dreadlocks as a side business…. Oh you are thinking of doing a show? I can direct too!… Also i weave baskets, spin wool, knitt hats and I am going to learn to massage, I have hospitality experience and I can bind books, edit film and take photos….”
and on and on….
However much I enjoyed answering this question, as you can imagine it became quite overwhelming for the poor inquisitive person who in reality was just trying to create a framework in their mind of where and how to engage with me… yes occasionally it would lead to interesting conversations but rarely did It lead to me making a living, money wise.
This was not really a problem until I reached a point in my life where I was seeing people around me living their dreams, supporting other artists by buying their wares (rather than being the supported one all the time) and eating healthy and heartily without scrimping and saving. I realized I was ready to move away from living on the streets selling my handicrafts for pennies and living off cheap peanut butter and white bread. For once I wanted to be the one to take a budding artist out for a healthy lunch, to buy a piece of hand made clothing for the price it was worth and to sleep in a bed, under a roof, even if just for a short period. To know that my choice to sleep outside was a CHOICE not a necessity and to live and be supported by my PASSION.
Now I just had to work out what my passion was.
At one point in this transition part of my life (which lasted a few years and involved me building up a direction, stripping it back down again and running away to the other side of the world back to living on the streets then finally took me to somewhere new where again I began to explore)… “what do I do?” …
This question. This question I resisted so so so hard because I JUST WILL NOT BE BOXED!
This resistance which in many ways, although I thought it was keeping me free, was actually restricting me a lot.
One day someone asked me this wonderful question as I had begun speaking my desire to make a life from my PASSION… “Well… what do you do?” … they said…. I took a deep breath.. “Well I travel around a lot and I crochet hats and sell them. I also spin fire, perform, write poetry, make jewelry…” They stopped me right there… and said … “No … not what CAN you do… what DO you do?”…
Not what CAN I do… but what DO I do?
This stumped me. A new list began to form in my mind, a wondrous list of different things I do. …and again they stopped me “No… narrow it down for me… what is the ONE thing you DO.”
Oh the resistance. I told them it was not LIKE that for me… I am different.. free..multi talented… a gypsy soul!
They agreed (humored me I guess) and said “yes but If you want to make a living from your passion… and I ask you what you do… and you give me a million passions… how am I ever to trust that any of them are your true passion…or that you are even any good at any of them? If you are not sure what direction you are going, how am I supposed to know what direction to find you in? No one wants a Jack of All Trades. If someone is going to support you in your choice, they need to know that YOU know what that choice is …. so … what DO you do?”
I paused
I paused for a few months to be honest… I enquired, I resisted and eventually I gave up and I asked someone else to tell me what I did. .. and the answer I got?
“You Inspire me Fleassy”
“You inspire me to be creative”
“You inspire me to draw” “To write” “to travel”
….. Now I am not the most humble person in the world, I can admit this… but this was hard to own, even for me. Imagine it, down the pub or at the bus stop “Hi nice to meet you… so what do you do?” “oh, you know, I inspire people” … my self critic went mad.
Yet here I am 2 and a half years later living from my passion. How did that happen? I will be honest, my response of “I inspire people” did not last long. however It did help me really understand what is it I am very good at. What my natural talent is. The thing that I do without trying. That thing, it turns out, Is create spaces where people feel inspired to step up. To become more. I listened to the feed back of those I trusted, of those who saw not just me, but the space around me. Saw how that space and I interacted in the most natural way. We are all given a gift, and with this gift we each have the power to change the world around us. The key is to be able to know, and own what that gift is with no shame, no vanity, just service. Service to the gift.
So ask me now what do I do? and I will tell you…
“I create spaces that inspire people to step up to their potential through self inquiry. Spoken word performance and workshops is my vehicle for this.”
(…”by the way I am also an amazing Graphic Designer” (….ok so some things don’t change totally))
and as much as the box-less gypsy in me hates to say it… it works. I feel amazing when I say it. I feel full, complete, defined in a beautiful way, and the world around me responds to that in as equally a positive way. Here I am embarking on my 5th workshop series in 2 years with a group of people who are as ready and willing as I am to challenge themselves, to inquire and to live their dreams. Here I am supporting myself with my passion.
… And of course i CAN still crochet, dance, play music and everything else… that doesn’t go away.
So tell me… “What do you do?”.
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www.fleassymalay.com
To find our more about Fleassy’s up comming courses please visit www.fleassymalay.com/Speak-Up