Every day I am given an opportunity to step up and fully tell the story of my self with my whole heart.
Every week brings a moment where my guts cry out with some kind of resistance to what life is giving me… And I either scream and run away…. Or breathe and walk forwards…. And it’s not easy.

It’s not easy to make the choices which defy everything I have been taught about how we do life and do love and do society, and follow what that voice inside is crying and hungering for.

I don’t think I am alone in this.

It’s not easy because to do it we have to unlearn a lifetime… Sometimes generations of lifetimes, worth of stories, conditioning, normalisation of unhealthy habits and training.
It’s uncomfortable. It’s painful.

But the truth is… The other option is worse.
A slow and steady death built on numbness where our spectrum of emotional experience gets tighter and we don’t face the scary things as much, maybe we avoid it… So we don’t get as uncomfortable.
So we don’t feel as much.
So we start to think that’s normal.
Until one day we realise we are a shell, a husk, and the IDEA of uncomfortable is so petrifying we actually convince ourselves that this numbness is the better choice. Then eventually, we crack.

It’s not the better choice.

Run if you need to run. Run if it makes your blood pound for the first time in years.
Jump if you hunger to jump, jump if it fills you with equal parts intrigue and equal parts fear.
Speak Up if your silence is deafening your heart. Your voice was gifted to you, use it.
Claim your body as yours.
Your voice as yours.
Your heart as yours.
Your passion as yours.
Your creativity as yours.

Every day we are doing this work, battling or surrendering, surrendering or battling.
If we realise it or not.

Every day I am one step closer to being less of what I was made and more of what I am.

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This is a piece of creative writing by Fleassy Malay. Fleassy Malay is a Spoken Word artists and authentic public speaking coach from Melbourne, Australia